Google Gulp

I was comforted this past week in knowing that Google is doing the right thing and defending privacy rights even though a majority of Americans are willing to throw them away.

Meanwhile, Google appears to have a great sense of humor about the whole controversy. Witness the unveiling of their newest-latest product, Google Gulp!

Google Gulp and Your Privacy
From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex™, a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear. See our Privacy Policy.

I only wish I could say, "Fuck off." in such a grandiose manner. But a man can dream.